I wanted to ask myself, “Do you ever want to be someone?” well obviously I do, but it’s more than just want, and who is this “someone”. I have a constant feeling of emptiness. There’s a lack of substance in my life, yet I simultaneously feel unique and under valued. This contradiction feeds my apathy, there is a hole in my life that needs to be filled.
I feel pathetic, guilty, my apathy is so heavy at times. I sometimes let myself imagine while lying in bed. I obtain everything the world has to offer, all my goals, inventions created, success upon success. While I indulge in my dreams I turn my head to the open window, I look out, through the haze of grandeur and think, tomorrow, or worse I jump up, motivated ready to create, but, my heart sinks, I do nothing… Only a man who has felt this can understand the weight, like heart break without a lover, all the pain from a romance with no context, no love, just a hollow sense of self loathing.
We’re empathetic medium to a generation that has settled on a lie. Convincing ourselves to be lazy, we live in constant protest at a world built to help us, screaming that the rules, path and plan is wrong. Meanwhile in our heads we scream in tandem at ourselves “LAZY!”
We are playing in our talent like a ball pit at a fast food restaurant, all our raw potential becomes a self indulgent toy.
We’ve packaged ourselves, our angst and apathy. It’s sold for 54.99 at Urban Outfitters, I feel like gluttony, shoveling my waste back into my mouth because I’m too lazy to create something new “New!” SUBSTANCE!!! I WANT SUBSTANCE, to make something truly useful and great.
I feel so empty, all I see are more kids feeling empty.
Should I stand up and create?
Should I romanticize my hurt, my heart ache?
Will that make you create?
How many years have to pass wallowing in the same tired conversations until we can move forwards as a generation?
Aren’t we all tired of complaining that the world isn’t ours?
It can be, If we just put in the real, no bullshit, tried and true work. If we all try to learn as much as is humanly possible. If we value education, not just for what it gives us in physical substance but for how it completes our sense of autonomy. Because life is incomplete without knowledge.
We think of work and learning as cart and horse two things working in tandem but they are the same creature, one entity that imagined the space race, the first car, the steal industry, miles of laid rail lines across the globe.
Our ability to create comes from the perspective gained through traditional and non traditional education, indulging in our owe apathy is our generations heroin.
I’m really going to give this life my all…
one day at a time.
Anonymous asked: do you think "meat curtains" are gross? or would you still eat a girl out if shee had them
If I liked the girl who cares, it’s not like she has any control over that. I’d probably ask her to describe it in a deferent way, the term “meat curtains” kind of makes sick. Such a peculiar question. xxx